Teaching Kids to Think Critically!

All those scientists - they can't possibly let anyone CRITICIZE their theories! Forget the fact that they have "peer reviewed" articles and grants in which "peers" criticize almost everything about their research methods. That only leads to "verifiable" results, which are truly over-rated! If Ben Stein says that scientists are all in cahoots, then that's good enough for us!

If you bring the kiddies in, we will teach them how to THINK CRITICALLY! For example, why don't scientists see species turning from one species to another in the lab? They will say something like "well, that takes thousands to hundreds of thousands of years, and we can't do experiments like that in a lab!" Of course that is obfuscation at its best! Until we personally SEE a fish turn into an elephant, we can NEVER be sure that evolution is true! It is logic like THIS that will get the kiddies thinking! How about this one too: there is one guy who seems to have MADE UP some drawings about how embryos develop! Those scientists will probably say "well, the embryo development argument has little to do with evolution by natural selection, and even if it WAS importat, one bad apple doesn't disprove an entire field of study," but we teach your kids that really all it takes is ONE faked set of pictures to take down an entire scientific field! Who knows, they may go home and start faking all kinds of pictures about "gravity" and "atoms" and stuff and then we could be rid of ALL scientific "theories"! That would allow us all to start afresh with whatever the Bible says! Your kids will come away from our museum thinking all kinds of good stuff after we're through with them!

Debunking An "Old" Earth

Scientists say they have multiple lines of evidence suggesting the Earth is billions of years old. Our GUT tells us they're WRONG and the Bible is RIGHT - the Earth CAN'T be more than 6,000 years old! Scientists say that layering of sediments, widespread fossils, radiometric dating and simple tree-ring counts prove, without a doubt, that the Earth is much older than 6,000 years. Biologists will say that ancient trees have yearly tree rings that go back 10,000 years! Geologists and paleontologists will say that stratigraphic evidence (i.e., the layering of sediments) combined with a predictable set of fossils can be used to show that the Earth is hundreds of millions of years old (as long as there were fossils!). Physicists will say that radiometric dating puts the age of the Earth back to ~4.5 billion years. We say "bunk" to all the biologists, geologists, paleontologists and physicists! Our gut tells us they're ALL wrong and we will tell YOUR KIDS they're wrong because that's just the RIGHT thing to do!

We have REAL science evidence that the Earth is young! If we calculate how the Earth is slowing down, we can back-calculate (on our TI calculators!) how the Earth would have to be spinning SO FAST that the dinosaurs would have literally been tossed into space! Moon dust is too thin to be 3+ billion years old. PLUS we have EVIDENCE that humans and dinosaurs coexisted: we have pictures of cave paintings and pottery that shows men and women being menaced by things that look a LOT like dinosaurs! Thus, dinosaurs MUST have coexisted with humans and all those silly "paleontologists" that find dinosaur bones and human remains at differing stratigraphic depths are therefore JUST WRONG!

So PLEASE, do the right thing by bringing your beloved kids here so that we can teach them OUR BRAND of science (we like to call it "Real Science"). You can bet your bottom dollar that after we are through with them, they will be better able to debunk all those pesky "scientific theories" on their own! Plus, you know that they will be well prepared to score well on the ACT so that they can enter the colleges of their choice! Ok, we were just making a funny there - really, all that "college book learnin'" is old-fashioned. You've seen how great home-schooling is, NOW you can do "home colleging" and save all that money that you would have otherwise WASTED by getting your kids to learn stuff from those pesky professors! With our patented "from the gut" teaching methods, YOU can be as good as any old professor, and probably BETTER! Then your kids will be set up to get the job of their choice! OK, you got us again - another funny! Really, though, if an employer doesn't recognize your kids' "home-colleging" degree, do you really want them working there anyway? We think NOT!

So start YOUR kids of right by giving them the tools they will need to have a GREAT life living with you for the rest of their lives because they are unemployable! You will thank us during the endtimes!!!